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The Spy caption for this picture, taken after a celebrity auction, was, "Shaquille O'Neal shows off his new $75 a week houseboy." Pretty funny, but surely you can do better than that! So click here to mail me your caption for this picture of Bill getting carried away, Armani shoes and all. I'll put the funny ones on this page, although I will probably not have time to reply to individual messages. I've gotten some great ones so far:
Hey, Mr. Big! I said I wanted a snaq not a shaq!
Fame and Fortune Have Gone To His Head!
Obviously, this is a picture of Bill Gates's new book - The Road
Ahead, Part II...Lost in Cyberspace.
Shaq sez: "I'm gonna slam dunk this muthafuc*a..."
Shaq's new laptop
Bill smiled as the baby sitter said, "If you go to bed now like a good
boy, Billy, I'll tell your parents and maybe they will let you play with
the computer tomorrow."
The seven-foot-tall baketball center denies reports he married for
money.
"Good, and another million if you give me a piggy back ride to Burger
King."
Take me to your barber, I could use a haircut like yours...
A LIGHT SNACK
..and the geeks shall inherit the earth...
Shaquin' up with Bill
Arnold and Danny DeVito move over...it's "Twins: The Second Batch"!
Evidently, money CAN buy everthing!
After borowing a pair of Armani's from O.J., Shaq puts his shine boy back up
on the shelf.
"Look Bill, no hands!"
"He's really got nice hands!" --Bill Gates
Shaq says, "Shut up and smile for the camera - you weigh more than an XT
and you're twice as slow!"
"He ain't heavy...He's my brutha!"
"Where did you say the shredder was?"
"That's right. 1/2 the profits from 95, or I drop you again."
Shaq: Admit that 95 sucks, or I break you like a fuckin twig.
I'll show ya how ta slam dork!
Uhhh, Ma'am, you dropped this a couple of miles back from the top of
your car, is it yours?
Hey Mom, look what I found - - - can I keep him . . . ?
"Bill, it's just a publicity shot..GET YOUR HAND OFFA MY BALLS!!"
Bill Gates demonstrates what critics fear will happen if the new
Microsoft "Point-and-Click" Constitution is adopted by Congress.
Shaq, If you drop me, you'll find out why I'm left handed.
Once over the threshold, it's legal!
Satan says your time's up, you've got to go!
Cash & carry
We've got to quit meeting like this!
Shaq: "Umm...miss...remember to bring a shovel the next time you walk your
dog."
"Was it really you that said Netscape Navigator users were sissies,
Bill?"
"See, I told you I could; he isn't that heavy. Now, you hold him, Steve,
while I get the shovel." --Shaq to Steve Jobs
Shaq: "I found him on the lawn holding a lantern again!"
After buying Windows '95 and getting fed up with using the Microsoft
helpline, Shaq desperately decides to take tech support into his own
hands.
"Gee, I never thought 20 billion dollars would ever feel this
light!"
[cover of Forbes] SPECIAL ISSUE: The things money can buy but we'd
rather not know about
"...Which way to the window?"
"I love him as much as all my other kids, he's just a little
different."
"I warned you, one way or the other I WILL get Microsoft product
support."
After a few hands of five card stud, settling with the lawyers,
accountants, Bill gets carried home with just the clothes on his
back.
"Hey everybody, look what I found in the 'hood! A cute l'il *white*
boy! Let's have a cook out!"
DROP HIM SHAQ! Preferably down a 100 mile gorge. I want my Mac back!
AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH
"If I put a lantern in his hand, do you think the neighbors will
be upset if I put him on the front lawn? "
"But Shaqy, I don't want to take a bath!"
Slam This!
Bill, I'll give you 10 seconds to move your hand, or I WILL slam dunk
ya!
"Hey, Shaq,... is that a roll of quarters in your pocket, or are you just
happy to see me?"
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