1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
2. Instead of an hourglass icon, you'd get an empty beer bottle
3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag
4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw"
5. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos
6.The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse
7. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck
8. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be Achy-Breaky Heart
9. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt"
10. Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul C++"
11. Winders 95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
12. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word
13. Instead of WWW servers, Microsoft would have KKK servers.
14. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now!"
15. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz"
16. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am
17. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse
18. Four words: Daisy Dukes Screen Saver
19. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire...
20. Speadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard
21. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor pull Simulator
22. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates
23. Instead of computer golf, the games of choice would be:
a. Interactive WWF Rasslin' (That's wrestling for you culturally deprived types)
b. Beer bottle toss at roadsigns
c. Mud Boggin'
d. 'Bacca spittin' at insects
24. Instead of MS "virus scan", it would be MS "Cooties (Lice) Rinse"
25. Not "config.sys" and 'autoexec.bat"-- but "conjugate w/sis" and "autoparts.bunch"
26. Instead of error tones, misstruck keys would be met with sound of "Aww Sheeit"
27. Solitare would offer choice of "number of players"
28. Icon for mail trashcan shaped like a Dipsey Dumpster.
29. All shapes in Tetris would be same-sized squares.
30. Favorite adult www homepage would involve pictures of "sexy" farm animals.