You Might be Addicted to AOL if...
Tech Support calls You for help.
Someone at work tells you a joke and you say LOL
You watch T.V. with the closed cationing turned on
You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other.
You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out"
Three words: Carpal tunnel syndrome
You want to meet a girl/guy and your first impulse is to turn on your computer
you've ever gotten onto an airplane just to meet some folks face to face
you have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino's
You have ever joined "Si habla Espanol"(spanish chat room) "just to work on my spanish"
you've ever typed "drinking on AOL is better than drinking alone"
you go into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail letting everyone know you are going to be away
you have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it (hehehe)
you no longer type with proper punctuation, capitolization, or complete sentences...
you have met over 100 AOLers
you begin to say hehehe instead of laughing
when someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"
you find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is alseep
you turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you are on-line again
you know more about your AOL friends daily routines than you do your own spouses
you find yourself lying to others about your time on-line and when they complain that your phone was busy you claim it
was off the hook
you have an identity crisis if someone else is using an s/n close to your own
you would rather tell people your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much instead of the truth (all night on-line)
you change s/n's so much that you have to get your profile to see who you are
you're broke, your modem burns out and you go out onto the streets to sell your body to get a new one
you open your home to 15 strangers for a week merely because they have computers and cool s/n's
your kids are standing at your side saying "mommy, please come cook dinner" and you would rather type another "LOL"
you marry your cyberboyfriend and you both sit at your won computers and chat to each other every night from across the
room
you type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time
you won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved
your dog leaves you
you have to ask what year it is
you are doing things more and more that you swore you would never, ever do when you first found chat
you write a letter like this..."dear tom, hiyas! how r u doin well gotta go bbl!"
you name your pets after people you talk to
you smile sideways
you sign on and immediately get 10 messages from people who have you on their buddy lists
you have a map on the wall with red thumbtacks to mark where people you have met are
you look at an annoying person off-line and wish you had your ignore button handy
you bring a bag lunch and a cooler to the puter
your significant other kisses your neck while you are chating and you think "uh oh cyber sex pervo"
you have withdrawls if you are away from the puter for more than a few hours
you use AOL lingo in everyday life (if you still have one...hehehe)
you take a speed reading course to keep up with the scrolling
your buddy list has over 100 people on it
your worst comeback to a bully is "I'll slap you with a rubber chicken."
you wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is get on-line before you have your first cup of coffee
you have to inject no-doze into your butt to keep it awake
you have your puter set up so that it goes directly into AOL's welcome screen (hehehe I used to have that)
you wait 6 hours online for a certain "special" person to come home from work
you don't know where the time has gone
you end sentances with three(or more) periods while writing letters in pen/pencil
your relationship online has gone farther than any real one you have had
you get up at 2am to go the bathroom but go turn on your puter
you spell things outloud instead of actually saying the word
you don't even notice anymore when someone has a typo
when you enter a room and 23 people greet you with {{{Hugs}}} or ***Kisses***
you stop typing whole words and use things like ppl, dunno and lemme
your voicemail/answering machine message is "BRB, leave your s/n and I will TTYL"
you type faster than you think
you got your psychiatrist addicted on AOL too and are now undergoing therapy in private rooms instead of at his office
you want to be burried with your computer when it dies...or vice versa
you actually enjoy the fact that you are addicted
you can actually read and follow all the names of the cast that scrolls up your tv-screen at the end of a movie
people say, if it weren't for your super reflexes in your eyes and fingers, you would have long been classified as a vegetable
you dream in text
being called a newbie is a MAJOR insult
there is absolutely no interesting chat any room and you are really bored....yet you don't want to leave incase you miss
something
you double click your tv remote
you can now type over 70 wpm
you think about starting a 12 step recovery group for AOL junkies
you are on the phone for a minute and need to do something else you say "BRB" or "BBL"
you check your e-mail and forget you have real mail aka snail mail
you go into withdrawls during dinner
you spend at least 30 minutes making sure you say goodbye to everyone in a room
you stop speaking in full sentances
you have gone into an unstaffed tech support room and ended up "giving" tech support to other AOLers
you have to be pried from your computer with the Jaws-of-Life
your last sexual experience was really just a "textual" experience
you set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you wanted to "check your mail" and while you were there you
"just wanted to see who's on" you meet people from AOL in public and have no idea what their real name is, so you call
them by their s/n
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