Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: Unix support hotline, may I help you?
From: [email protected]
Keywords: unix, chuckle, true

The following is original, but it's by our entire organization (which, for safety's sake, must remain anonymous).

I work at the support hotline for a large company that sells Unix systems. Customer calls are first handled by a group of receptionists, who determine the general nature of each caller's problem or question and then place it on a queue. The receptionists attach a "headline" to each call, so that the support analysts can decide whether a particular call is within their area of expertise. Unfortunately, the receptionists are not generally familiar with Unix.

Sometimes the receptionist mangles Unix in a funny way.

Spelling errors can happen.

Sometimes there is strange imagery involved. Picture this:

There is some hardware we just don't support.

This is clearly NOT a software problem.

Maybe the machine would be happier in another room.

Users may get a little fed up.

Maybe our software is just too boring.

This one came up just before war broke out in the gulf.

Sometimes, you just have to wonder...

Finally, this one is just too theoretical.


Newsgroups: bit.listserv.nutworks
Subject: 1991 Unix support headlines
From: [email protected]
Date: Sat, 29 Feb 92 4:30:4 EST

(These went over well last year, so I kept a list for this year.)

I work at the support hotline for a fairly large Unix vendor. Customer calls are intercepted by a group of receptionists, who determine the general nature of each caller's problem or question and then place it on an electronic queue. The receptionists attach a "headline" to each call, so that the support analysts can decide whether a particular call is in their area of expertise. Unfortunately, the receptionists are not generally familiar with Unix.

Spelling errors can happen.

Sometimes there is strange imagery involved. Picture this:

There is some hardware we just don't support.

This is clearly NOT a software problem.

This one came up a few weeks after Gorbachev had his trouble:

Similarly:

Here's a stumper.

Users may get a little fed up.

Sometimes, you just have to wonder...



<>

<>