by Thomas Farrell, tfarrell@lynx.dac.neu.eduThe life of a sysadmin goes approximately as follows. 8am: Your pager goes off and wakes you up. The message says it’s the office, and it’s a crisis. You roll out of bed moaning. 8:15am: You are now sufficiently...
Here’s an easy game to play. Here’s an easy thing to say. If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort. And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, Then the socket packet pocket has an...
Some Important Theological Questions are Answered if we think of God as a Computer Programmer. Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life? A: He could, if he used the debugger, but it’s tedious to step through all those variables. Q: Why does God...
by Alan Meiss, ameiss@gn.ecn.purdue.edu Using the Line Printer If your printout does not arrive within 1.2 seconds, immediately take the printer offline and press line feed enough times to place the perforation in the center of all subsequent printouts. Leave the...
by Stephen Harrison and Noel MageeThis is the story of a different kind. No melting CPU’s, no screaming disc drives, just the kind of psychological torture that scars a man for life. I had a 9:00 meeting with my sales rep. I needed to buy an entire new series...
Multitasking: You can crash several programs all at once. No waiting! Built-in Networking: You can crash several PC`s all at once. No need to buy Novell Personal Netware or LANtastic to crash. Microsoft Network: Connect with other Windows 95 users and talk about your...
There was a knock on the door. It was the man from Microsoft. “Not you again,” I said. “Sorry,” he said, a little sheepishly. “I guess you know why I’m here.” Indeed I did. Microsoft’s $300 million campaign to promote...
I. Any given program, when running, is obsolete. II. Any given program costs more and takes longer. III. If a program is useful, it will have to be changed. IV. If a program is useless, it will have to be documented. V. Any program will expand to fill available...
REDMOND, Wash. — April 10, 1995 — Microsoft today announced the release of Joe-Bob(tm), a new software package that the company hopes will open up a huge untapped computer market. With the motto “The software for the rest of y’all(tm),”...
APL, BASIC, COBOL, FORTRAN, PASCAL, RPG… these programming languages are well known and (more or less) loved throughout the computer industry. There are numerous other languages, however, that are less well known yet still have ardent devotees. In fact, these...
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