Bill Gates favorite anti-UNIX jokes

Dan Flood Computer Humour Leave a Comment

  • If Unix is the answer, then it must have been a stupid question.
  • Unix is the only virus with a command-interface.
  • How can an operating system from 1970 (UNIX) be more modern than an operating system from 1978 (VMS)?
  • Unix – the first computer virus.
  • NFS = Nightmare File System.
  • Berkeley is famous for LSD and BSD UNIX. I don’t think that is a coincidence.
  • Sure, the Unix file system corrupts your files, but look how fast it is!
  • Friends don’t let friends use Unix.
  • Unix – the ideal operating system for CPU’s that are never powered up.
  • Nothing wrong with Unix that a total redesign and rewrite can not fix.
  • UNIX will be preempted by NT. UNIX doesn’t know it yet – it won’t notice until it’s too late, because UNIX is the Yugoslavia of software, at war with itself — but it’s all over.
  • The users of Unix systems said speed wasn’t an issue when the Alpha chip was released. The same people tell their wives and girlfriends that size doesn’t matter.
  • If Unix were a beer, then it would be shipped in open casks so that anybody could piss in it before delivery.
  • UNIX is user friendly. It’s just selective about who its friends are.
  • UNIX is akin to a religion to some. If things aren’t done like they are in UNIX, then they must be bad. Sorry, I don’t believe in this religion.
  • UNIX is a four-letter word!
  • VI = Virtually Incomprehensible.
  • Unix is about as user friendly as a blow in the back from an ice-pick, only not quite as productive.
  • What has happend, when a system-manager gets gray-haired in one day ? One day with a UNIX system !
  • How do you pronounce UNIX ? You Nix !
  • Cretin and UNIX both start with C.
  • The scariest thing about Jurassic Park was that the control systems were Unix.
  • Why is using a UNIX system like being an Enuch? Everytime you go to do something important, you realize something critical is missing.

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