Program Development Terminology

Dan Flood Computer Humour Leave a Comment

1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED – We are still pissing in the wind.
2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM – We just hired three kids fresh out of college.

3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION – We know who to blame.

4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH – It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.

5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED – We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.

6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE – The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING – We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.

8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED – The only person who understood the thing quit.

9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS – It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.

10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT – Forget it! We have enough problems for now.

11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL – Let`s spread the responsibility for the screw up.

12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING – We`ll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn`t interfere with what we`ve already done.

13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION – I can`t wait to hear this bull!

14. SEE ME or LET`S DISCUSS – Come into my office, I`m lonely.

15. ALL NEW – Code not interchangeable with the previous design.

16. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT – It finally worked!

17. LOW MAINTENANCE – Impossible to fix if broken.

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