Computer Folklore from usenet net.rumours

dflood Computer History, Computer Humour 0 Comments

From: [email protected] Sat Nov 10 14:40:39 1990 From: [email protected] (Alan Silverstein) Subject: Re: “The Devouring Fungus” at a bookstore near you > …a collection of anecdotes and stories about computer technology and > the people who spend their time working with computers… This is the > first time I have seen anyone collect so many of them together, and in …

The Evolution of a Programmer

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From High School to CEO High School/Jr.High 10 PRINT “HELLO WORLD” 20 END First year in College program Hello(input, output) begin writeln(‘Hello World’) end. Senior year in College (defun hello (print (cons ‘Hello (list ‘World)))) New professional #include <stdio.h> void main(void) { char *message[] = {“Hello “, “World”}; int i; for(i = 0; i < 2; ++i) printf(“%s”, message[i]); printf(“\n”); …

VAXen Don’t Belong Everywhere

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gopher://wiretap.area.com/00/Library/Techdoc/Lore/vaxen.not” [email protected] Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny Subject: VAXen, my children, just don’t belong some places Message-ID: <[email protected]> Date: 1 Mar 89 11:30:05 GMT Lines: 277 ( I’ve never heard of the “WAR_STORIES” notefile; if you want to get back to the original author you’ll have to go through “[email protected]”. I’m enclosing everything just as it reached me.) Mike O’Brien The Aerospace Corporation …

The Story of Mel

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The Story of Mel Source: usenet:utastro!nather, 21 May 1983. Maybe they do now, in this decadent era of Lite beer, hand calculators and “user-friendly” software but back in the Good Old Days, when the term “software” sounded funny and Real Computers were made out of drums and vacuum tubes, Real Programmers wrote in machine code. Not Fortran. Not RATFOR. Not, …

The Loginataka

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(This was originally a Usenet response to some eager newbie questions.) Speak, O Guru: How can I become a Unix Wizard? O, Nobly Born: know that the Way to Wizardhood is long, and winding, and Fraught with Risks. Thou must Attune thyself with the Source, attaining the arcane Knowledge and Conversation of the System Libraries and Internals. Yea; and such …

Bill Gates favorite anti-UNIX jokes

Dan Flood Computer Humour 0 Comments

If Unix is the answer, then it must have been a stupid question. Unix is the only virus with a command-interface. How can an operating system from 1970 (UNIX) be more modern than an operating system from 1978 (VMS)? Unix – the first computer virus. NFS = Nightmare File System. Berkeley is famous for LSD and BSD UNIX. I don’t …

You might be an AOL addict if

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Tech Support calls You for help. Someone at work tells you a joke and you say LOL You watch T.V. with the closed cationing turned on You have called out someone’s screen name while making love to your significant other. You keep begging your friends to get an account so “we can hang out” Three words: Carpal tunnel syndrome You want to …

Complete list of Windows 95 Error Messages

Dan Flood Computer Humour 0 Comments

WinErr: 001 Windows loaded – System in danger WinErr: 002 No Error – Yet WinErr: 003 Dynamic linking error – Your mistake is now in every file WinErr: 004 Erroneous error – Nothing is wrong WinErr: 005 Multitasking attempted – System confused WinErr: 006 Malicious error – Desqview found on drive WinErr: 007 System price error – Inadequate money spent …