Now you can get a single-board nuclear reactor that supplies stand-by power for 12 years! The QBX-1 nuclear reactor card, available on a full-length plug-in card for the IBM or compatible, provides back-up power for up to 12 years. When the card senses a power...
“We’ve got a problem, HAL.” “What kind of problem, Dave?” “A marketing problem. The Model 9000 isn’t going anywhere. We’re way short of our sales plan.” “That can’t be Dave. The HAL Model 9000 is the...
1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED – We are still pissing in the wind. 2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM – We just hired three kids fresh out of college. 3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION – We know...
Who is Bill Gates, the man behind the multi-billion dollar Microsoft computer empire? Underneath his nerdy exterior, is there simpply another nerd? And what does someone who has $17 billion and no hobbies do for fun? We called talk-show hostess Ricki Lake and asked...
“I don’t have any evidence of that… Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There’s alot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning.” — Bill Gates, when asked about religion and God’s...
10. Properties dialog box now includes Boardwalk and Pennsylvania Avenue. 9. Catchy “Resistance is futile; you will be assimilated” splash screen. 8. Odor files. 7. New 18-Hour Control Panel by Playtex. 6. Point-and-click interface replaced by innovative...
You make $100,000 a year, yet still can’t find a place to live. Your commute time is 45 minutes and you live 8 miles away from work. Stop asking how much things cost but, ask “How long will it take?” Two-Thirds of the people you know are from Boston...
Unix was a program gone bad. Born into poverty, its parents, the phone com- pany, couldn’t afford more than a roll of teletype paper a year, so Unix never had decent documentation and its source files had to go without any comments whatsoever. Year after year,...
Unix: who(1)’s on what(1)? A Customer calls a UNIX consultant with a question Customer: What is the command that will tell me the revision code of a program? UNIX consul: Yes, that’s correct. Customer: No, what is it? UNIX consul: Yes. Customer: So, which...
Subject: *** TOP SECRET MICROSOFT CODE *** Project: Version – Windows 95 Microsoft marketing strategy (MARKET.EXE): #include <nonsense.h> #include <lies.h> #include <spyware.h> /* Microsoft Network Connectivity library */ #include...
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